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Fun and Jokes

The Place to come and enjoy good Jokes and Funny Stories.

Members: 20
Latest Activity: Dec 7

Fun & Jokes

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Whats up the the tire issues this season?

Started by Gordo. Last reply by Racepro Jul 3. 1 Reply

What is NASCAR and Goodyear up to this season? Continue

Tags: to, this, season?, up, Goodyear

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Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on December 7, 2014 at 4:52pm

small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!!!"
One day Hameed's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform....... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful......
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!
The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend Hameed, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover!!!!! .........
Don't tell me you thought that Hameed became a doctor !?!

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on November 28, 2014 at 10:15pm

 a guy was wearing a rollex watch,,,,asked where he got it,,,he said,,,well a beautiful rich lesbian couple just moved in next door,,,,and they asked me what i wanted for christmas,,,,,,but i think they misunderstood me when i said, , "i wanna watch!"

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on November 24, 2014 at 5:06pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on October 11, 2014 at 3:45pm

Duck Hunters
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Comment by RowdyGal18 on October 6, 2014 at 8:21am

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on September 30, 2014 at 10:35am

Walking into the bar, I said to the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said the bartender, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' I replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'
'Really?' said the bartender, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

Comment by Gordo on September 17, 2014 at 6:43pm
Comment by RowdyGal18 on September 9, 2014 at 8:27am

...

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on September 7, 2014 at 1:33am

Three Aussie blokes working up an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.
Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
... Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer.
Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'
'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'
Then I said...'I'll betcha a case of beer you are

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on September 1, 2014 at 3:37pm

Q: You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a drop-off, and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
A: Get your drunk-ass off the merry-go-round.

 

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JAYSKI NEWS

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