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Fun and Jokes

The Place to come and enjoy good Jokes and Funny Stories.

Members: 20
Latest Activity: Mar 25

Fun & Jokes

DISCUSSION FORUM

Whats up the the tire issues this season?

Started by Gordo. Last reply by Racepro Jul 3, 2014. 1 Reply

What is NASCAR and Goodyear up to this season? Continue

Tags: to, this, season?, up, Goodyear

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Comment by Grant Lockner on March 25, 2015 at 9:35am

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:58pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:57pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:56pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:53pm

Comment by Racepro on March 16, 2015 at 8:59pm

A Cowboy by the name of Bud was overseeing his herd of cows in a remote mountainous pasture in Northern California when a 2015 BMW advanced towards him with a cloud of dust trialing behind.

The driver exited the car wearing a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, YSL tie, and Rayban sunglasses.  Then walked up to the cowboy and asked him “ If I tell you how just how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Thinking about it for a few seconds, then looking at the man as though he was looking at an educated idiot, the cowboy replied “ Sure why not ?“

The man whips out his IPhone gets the co-ordinance of his location, then feeds it to a NASA Satellite that takes a high resolution pictures of the surrounding area.  He then open the digital image in his photoshop software on his IPhone, then sends the image to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds the data from the image is sent to him in a 100 page report in his e-mail account, then he prints it out with a printer located in his BMW, returns to the cowboy and tells him “ You have 1,586 cows and calves in your herd”

“ You are so right “ replied Bud, “ feel free to pick out one of my animals,”  

Bud watched the man with amusement, pick out one of his animals then load it into the trunk of his car.

As the man is getting into his ride, Bud asked the man, “ If I can tell you what business you are in, will you give me my animal back? “

The fella thinks about it for a few seconds and replies “  Sure, why not, if you can guess what I do for a living I’ll give you back your calf “

Bud tells the man, “ I don’t need to guess what you do, I know exactly what you do for a living.  You are a U.S. Congressman. “

“ Wow you are correct, how did you know that? “  Bud, answered “ You showed up here even though no one called you; you wanted to be paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.  You used millions of dollars worth of equipment to prove to me how much smarter than me you are.  And, you know nothing about how working people make a living, or about cows for that matter.  Because this is a herd of sheep, ………… and can I now have my dog back? “     

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 5, 2015 at 9:12pm

roflmao,,,thx for the laughs steve,,,,,

Comment by Racepro on March 5, 2015 at 7:51pm
Texas
   
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’”
Comment by Racepro on March 5, 2015 at 7:50pm
Tennessee
   
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”
The driver replied, “Bout whut?”
Comment by Racepro on March 5, 2015 at 7:49pm
North Carolina
   
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”
 

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