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Fun and Jokes

The Place to come and enjoy good Jokes and Funny Stories.

Members: 21
Latest Activity: Jun 21

Fun & Jokes

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Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on June 21, 2015 at 7:01pm

lol, tombo,,,,

Comment by Tombo on June 21, 2015 at 1:54pm

"happy fathers day"

my lesbian neighbors stopped by and asked me what I wanted for fathers day so I said,"don't get mad for what im gonna say but you two are so hot and I just wanna watch".

so...........................they got me a timex..

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on June 11, 2015 at 7:04am

Mom asked Little Johnny if he had enjoyed his school's field trip.
"Yeah, it was great! We saw sheep, horses, goats, and fuckers."
Mom said, "Uh, fine, fine. I know what sheep, horses and goats are, but what is a, er, um, 'fucker'?"
Johnny aid, "Oh, they're the animals that give us milk."
Mom said, "But who said they were called, er, you know, 'fuckers'?"
Johnny replied, "That was our teacher."
"She actually called them 'fuckers'!" said Mom, astonished.
"Well actually she called them 'effers,' but we all knew what she meant."

Comment by Racepro on April 28, 2015 at 9:48am

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

This story made us laugh. SHARE it with your friends if it made you laugh as well!

Comment by Grant Lockner on March 25, 2015 at 9:35am

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:58pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:57pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:56pm

Comment by Eve 24 ♫ on March 16, 2015 at 9:53pm

Comment by Racepro on March 16, 2015 at 8:59pm

A Cowboy by the name of Bud was overseeing his herd of cows in a remote mountainous pasture in Northern California when a 2015 BMW advanced towards him with a cloud of dust trialing behind.

The driver exited the car wearing a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, YSL tie, and Rayban sunglasses.  Then walked up to the cowboy and asked him “ If I tell you how just how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Thinking about it for a few seconds, then looking at the man as though he was looking at an educated idiot, the cowboy replied “ Sure why not ?“

The man whips out his IPhone gets the co-ordinance of his location, then feeds it to a NASA Satellite that takes a high resolution pictures of the surrounding area.  He then open the digital image in his photoshop software on his IPhone, then sends the image to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds the data from the image is sent to him in a 100 page report in his e-mail account, then he prints it out with a printer located in his BMW, returns to the cowboy and tells him “ You have 1,586 cows and calves in your herd”

“ You are so right “ replied Bud, “ feel free to pick out one of my animals,”  

Bud watched the man with amusement, pick out one of his animals then load it into the trunk of his car.

As the man is getting into his ride, Bud asked the man, “ If I can tell you what business you are in, will you give me my animal back? “

The fella thinks about it for a few seconds and replies “  Sure, why not, if you can guess what I do for a living I’ll give you back your calf “

Bud tells the man, “ I don’t need to guess what you do, I know exactly what you do for a living.  You are a U.S. Congressman. “

“ Wow you are correct, how did you know that? “  Bud, answered “ You showed up here even though no one called you; you wanted to be paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.  You used millions of dollars worth of equipment to prove to me how much smarter than me you are.  And, you know nothing about how working people make a living, or about cows for that matter.  Because this is a herd of sheep, ………… and can I now have my dog back? “     

 

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